Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Top Ten Disney Attractions

Follow your heart for your dreams are the are the wish your imagination becomes... Whatever. There is really bad philosophy to be found at Disneyland and even worse theology. But there are great rides. Was great to go to Disneyland (though not California Adventure) with the family in December. Here's my top ten:

10) Disneyland Railroad - After much park walking, it's kind of nice to seat on occasion. Now that the people mover and the gondolas are no more, this is the best ride for viewing the park. And dinosaurs. Much better than the Knotts Berry Farm dinosaurs (though not as good as those found at Universal Studios. But these guys are much older, which counts for something in dino world.)

9) Great Moments with Lincoln - As mentioned above, you hear a lot of rubbish at Disneyland, but here you can hear the eloquent words of the Great Emancipator. Brings a well earned tear to the eye. And again...Sitting.

8) Buzz Lightyear Auto Blasters - Pixar has brought real wit to the world of Disney, the ride is full of sly touches. And the interactive element of shooting at Zurg is a plus.

7) Indiana Jones Adventure - I'll never fully be able to integrate the world of Disney with the world of Lucas. But both are seminal parts of my childhood and youth. And how I wanted to be Indy while watching those first three films (don't want to become that old, grouchy man in the fourth film). Some good whipping around and effects on the ride. And some creativity went into the line as well, making the wait less onerous.

6) The Haunted Mansion - The last couple of times I've gone, it was Christmas time so it was the Nightmare Before Christmas version of the ride. Which is great. But without Jack Skellington, it's still great. It is eerie and has some good jump scares. The original narration is wonderfully creepy.

5) Star Tours - I liked it a little better when the captain of the ship was Paul Reuben's Rex rather than R2-D2 and C3-P0. But it's still great fun. You feel like it's a real ride with drops and dives, rather than a simulator. And probably the best line experience with some very funny bots.

4) Matterhorn Bobsleds - This could have been Space Mountain in the slot. Two good roller coasters. But I love the alpine setting and the addition of the abominable snow man was choice. And you do get a great view of the park.

3) Peter Pan - The best of the Fantasy Land rides. I love Mr. Toad and Snow White and Pinocchio and Alice, but this is the best. Because as a kid I wanted to fly like Peter. (But these are the worst lines in Disneyland.)

2) Pirates of the Caribbean - I like the old Pirates better, without Jack Sparrow. And especially when they let the pirates chase beautiful women and then the fat woman chasing a pirate (because the world of pirates was not very PC.) But the ride is still funny and the drops are nice and it is probably the scariest ride besides the Haunted Mansion. (Now Monsanto's Journey Into Inner Space...That was scary.)

1) Jungle Boat -They've tried to make Star Tours and Indy into rides that change, but really, this is the only ride at Disneyland that offers a different experience with every trip. Because it all rests with the guide. A great guide makes for a great trip. A lousy guide...Well you can still enjoy the animatronic animals and marvel at how haphazard the geography is. My all time favorite line I heard a guide say..."Make sure to stick around for the fireworks show tonight. Tinkerbell will leap from the Matterhorn, and then they'll try to shoot the little fairy out of the sky." Unlike other jokes on the ride, I only heard that joke once. I wonder why that is.

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