Thursday, January 8, 2009

The Party Skit (performed at Healdsburg Community Church)

“This Is A Party?”
By Dean Anderson

Time: 5 minutes
Cast Breakdown: 5 any combination of M, F

Characters: Guest #1, Host, Guest #2, Guest #3, Guest #4
Props: 5 glasses (four with water, 1 with something that looks like prune juice) and 5 pieces of dark, dry toast

Setting: Living room in house

(Skit begins with guest #1 Guest knocking on door, and is welcomed by Host. Meanwhile Guest #2 is tapping foot, Guest #3 is sitting and drumming fingers on knees, Guest #4 twirling thumbs)

HOST: Welcome, to the party. Please, come in.

GUEST 1: Thanks, great to be here.

HOST: Would you care for a refreshing beverage?

GUEST 1: Sure, what have you got?

HOST: Water, tap or distilled. Grapefruit or prune juice.

GUEST 1: Oh, ah, water. Um, tap would be fine.

(HOST goes off, GUEST #1 goes to guest #2)

GUEST #1: So, how’s the guest of honor?

GUEST #2: Oh, me, yes. Adequate, doing adequately.

GUEST #1: So, what you drinking there, you old dog, you?

GUEST #2: This, oh, I went with the prune juice. I’ve had some regularity problems, and…

GUEST #1: Yes, well, hey, what are you two up to?

GUEST #3: Me, oh I was mentally composing my grocery list.

GUEST #4: And I was calculating and comparing insurance premiums.

(HOST returns with cup for GUEST #1 and a plate with burnt toast)

HOST: Now a toast to our guest of honor.

(GUESTS #2, #3, & #4 take toast from the plate, as does HOST and GUEST #1 does so reluctantly, all raise toast in air, then take a bite)

GUEST #1: You know, I don’t want to be rude, but this is the dullest party I think I have ever attended! Where’s the music, where’s the laughter, where’s the celebration?

GUEST #3: That is so rude.

GUEST #4: Who invited this rabble rouser?

GUEST #2: This is how we’ve always done parties.

HOST: Yes. If you were looking for a celebration, why didn’t you go to church?

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