Friday, December 7, 2012
Final Day of Advent Skit-A-Day Week
CHRISTMAS EVE SNOOZE
(Church service, tired woman in pew or seat, pastor at pulpit)
Pastor: “A record of the genealogy of Jesus Christ, the son of David and the son of Abraham; Abraham was the father of Isaac, Isaac the father of Jacob, Jacob the father of Judah and his brothers..” (continues to mouth the words of Matthew 1: 1 – 17 but becomes silent)
Julie: (head drooping, obviously nodding off, bobs up and down a couple of times and goes down for the count) Snores.
Vision: Hey Julie, you’re sleeping.
Julie: Oh, I’m sorry, um, thanks for waking me.
Vision: I didn’t.
Vision: Didn’t wake you. You’re still asleep.
Julie: What are you talking about?
Vision: You fell asleep right in the middle of the genealogy and you’re still asleep.
Julie: So you’re just a dream?
Vision: You could say that, but I prefer to call myself a vision.
Julie: What are you talking about? Why are you bothering me?
Vision: Well, you were the one that fell asleep during the service.
Julie: Don’t blame me for that. If you knew what my last week was like. In order to take Christmas week off I had to do two weeks’ work in one. I had to wrap all Ben’s family’s presents and get them shipped. I had to pack for this trip, for the both of us, of course. Our flight didn‘t arrive till 3 AM and we were welcomed my sister Linda’s baby was crying through the night in the room next door, and then my mother insisted we leave first thing in the morning for an all-day shopping trip at the mall. Then after rushing down some festive Kentucky Fried Chicken, my father dragged us off to church just to hear who begat who begat who and of course I fell asleep. Sometimes I think Christmas could be so much more peaceful without families.
Vision: Families can be trying. And I don’t blame you for falling asleep. Church is a place for rest. But don’t belittle the begats.
Julie: What do you mean?
Vision: The who begat who’s help remind us that Jesus was part of a family.
Julie: Well, he wasn’t part of a family like mine. For instance my Uncle William is in town, former corporate vice president, future San Quentin resident. For several months we had to keep the TV remote at the ready so the kids wouldn’t have to hear his former employees talking about how he cheated them out of their life savings.
Vision: Well, if you weren’t sleeping through the Scripture passage, you might hear about interesting branches in his family tree. There was Jacob, a con man who cheated his own brother out of a blessing.
Julie: Then of course, my cousin Sky will be coming. I hope her new boyfriend doesn’t rummage through the purses for drug money like the last one.
Vision: Again, if you were listening to the list being read about Jesus’ ancestors you’d note it includes drunkards, prostitutes and murderers. His would be quite the family reunion.
Julie: Maybe his distant relatives were like that. But Jesus’ immediate family…Well, if you look at the pictures on the Christmas cards, it’s halos all around.
Vision: So you don’t think Jesus had family issues?
Julie: Well, not like I’ll be faced the next few days. My parents will drill my husband about why he hasn’t gotten a promotion. My brothers will continue a feud they started in high school. And my sister Linda is waiting for the results of a biopsy. It won’t exactly be Joy to the World in my house this Christmas.
Vision: So you think Jesus never dealt with anything like a death in the family?
Julie: Well yes, since you never hear more about Joseph, I guess I assumed he died, and Jesus had to deal with that.
Vision: Or sibling rivalry?
Julie: I suppose if Jesus was perfect, that fact probably wasn’t appreciated by his brothers.
Vision: In fact, during Jesus‘ ministry, his brothers said Jesus was insane. During his ministry, Jesus had to do things that he knew would bring his mother great grief.
Julie: I can’t imagine what it would have been like for Mary to watch Jesus on the cross. Or for Jesus, to watch His mother watch Him die.
Vision: Jesus came into a family when He came as a baby that first Christmas. He knew the same trials we all know living with a family. But He chose that life. So that He could live as we do, to show us how to live. That’s part of what God becoming a man is about.
Julie: You’re right. I guess God does know something about families, even mine.
Vision: Yes. In fact, Jesus came so you could be a part of His family, with God as your heavenly Father. But you really should be waking up now.
Julie: You’re right. Do you think anyone has noticed that I nodded off?
Vision: Just your father. Did you know you drool when you sleep?
Julie: I know, I know.
Vision: Have a Merry Christmas, Julie.
Julie: You know, I think I will.